Wishes

[WanSien]

Eeeeyeeer!!! How come no one update der?

...

But then, I also don't know what to crap about.

I saw him in school today. Things seem sooo awkward between us now.

Sighs.

-I wish I wasn't so afraid of what he thinks of me, than maybe I would find it easier to approach him

-I wish I had more patience, than maybe things wouldn't be so tensed

-I wish I had the guts to demand a conclusion, than maybe I wouldn't feel so restless

-I wish I had the nerve to confront him before, than maybe we would have turned out differently

-I wish I had the courage to let go, than maybe both of us wouldn't feel so miserable

-I wish I had more determination, than maybe it would be easier to forget the sadder memories

-I wish I had the will, than maybe I wouldn't miss the happier moments

But given the opportunity, or the chance to turn back the time...I guess I wouldn't have exchanged those three months for anything.

The frustration exceeded the happiness, but you could say every minute of joy was worth two days of sadness.

I should thank:

~WenHui and WeiHon for always being there to listen to me crap online.
~Angie and Steph for the advices and encouragement they have given me all this while.
~SinYee for being indignant on my behalf and for making me feel that someone does care after all.
~EngYun for managing to make me laugh out loud when I was depressed.
~And my sisters, who although talk crap all the time but still manage to come up with pretty ingenious suggestions once in awhile.

Alright, I'm going to allow myself one week's time of self-pity and emo-ness. After I come back from Malaysia, I'm going to put everything behind me.

Hopefully, I'll be able to do that.

But it's hard. Because it really sucks to be missing him so much. No, not him. But the memories.

It's going to take some getting used to and readjustment on my part. =)